That being said, I have learned that there is something you must never, ever do. It is something that I can't believe other parents are still doing in the modern age.
Never leave your sleeping child's room and tell your spouse, "She's finally asleep."
Don't do it! You may as well send a marching band through her bedroom. In fact, try not to even think about the state of your child's slumber.
You know how some animals can sense fear? Well, babies can sense their parents relaxing and it makes them very, very angry -- up until 4 a.m. angry.
Babies are very tricky when you are trying to put them to sleep. You may have been rocking the little tyke or rubbing her belly for what seems like an eternity. Your back has seized up and your ability to think logically has completely abandoned you. It may have been an hour or two since she stilled her movements, closed her eyes and started snoring. You may think you are in the clear and that it is okay to creep out of the room.
You are wrong! She is faking! You must always slowly count to 100 before you can tiptoe out backward (never turn your back on a seemingly sleeping child).
Also, if you have other children in the house, it may be wise to tether them to their bed. Just when you have rubbed the baby's belly for five hours and successfully counted to 100 (or 150 just to be safe), your 5-year-old will clump into the room with his water cup. In his sweet little voice, he will bellow, "Mom! I'm thirsty!"
One final word of advice: It is probably wise, once your child is finally, truly asleep, that you not sit down, crack open a beer and start writing for you blog. Apparently, this is the equivalent of a clumsy elephant trying to go down the stairs.
